Ha my name is

My name is Aimee Conklin. I've been alive for a little over 22 years. Nothing extravagant ever happened to me, I was never prom queen, and I pretty much sucked at soccer, but on May 7, 2008 I did the most amazing, super, extravagant thing that anyone has ever done in Pennsylvania or anywhere else. I had the most beautiful baby in the entire world.


That's her. Madelynn Olivia, aka Mady O. Perfect isn't she? At 6lbs 140z, I was sure I was going to break her before we even left the hospital. She seemed so much safer on the inside where my dippy self couldn't possibly drop her on her head which seemed way to heavy for her little body. Oh but holy shit it was great to see her after so long! She was late, a whole week. And I was fat. Really fat.

That's me. At 38 weeks. Remember she was a week late so by week 41 I was practically tipping over. And the heartburn! Oh the heartburn. I lived with Tums being my only nutrition for months. A co-worker told me that heartburn for Mommy equals lots of hair for baby.

I guess she was right. If you can twist your 4 day old baby's hair into a super-do like this, you obviously had alot of bad heartburn.

So it is now 7 weeks later. I've lost the baby weight (most of it), and haven't had heartburn ever again. But I'm still clueless about this tiny, screaming, absolutely-damn-beautiful baby that I still think would be much safer on the inside. And although I hate to admit it, I wish I could put the screamer back in that safe spot once in a while.

My friend Megan, who also gave birth in May (to the second most beautiful baby in the world, the first if you ask her), actually gave me the idea to start a blog. That's a lie. She didn't give me the idea, I sort of stole it. On June 23rd, I had started a journal for Mady. By June 24th the journal was forgotten. I've never been able to keep a journal, my thoughts just look crappy on the page. Maybe it's my handwriting. I used to blog almost every day not so long ago, before the thrills of adulthood (cheap beer and martinis) distracted me and I quit altogether. But now I'm back, sober and with a whole shit load to write about (dirty diapers and "the new drooler").

Question of the day: Why is baby poop yellow and chunky when breast milk is white and like water?