Baby Blob

I really wish Madelynn could do more stuff. Or at least speak English. For a while there, I was completely content to just stare at her and watch her little arms and legs flail. Don't get me wrong, I still stare for hours at a time, amazed at her grasping ability and coos, but I'm ready for a new trick. There was the roll a couple days ago but I guess she decided she was too good for rolling because she hasn't done it since. She's discovered how to hold onto things and shove them in her mouth, which entertained me for a full 3 days before I realized it could become a problem. I handed her Jeffrey's toothbrush this morning while I was brushing my teeth, she was sitting in her sling waving the toothbrush around and looking in the mirror. Then she poked herself in the eye. Oops. But wait, she managed to shove the end of the toothbrush halfway down her throat and began gagging way too much to cry about her eye. Toothbrushes are not toys. Honestly, I'm not bored with her, I'm just really lonely. I talk baby talk all day long, then correct the baby talk so she knows that baby talk is only acceptable for babies, then I wait for a response. I usually don't get one, or I get some form of "ahh-goo, goo-ahh, ooooh, or GAAAAH!!" I'm so lonely I even talk to the appliances in my apartment. Mady was napping for the 50th time in 3 hours so I carried on a nice long conversation with the refrigerator, basically berating it for not containing the juice I wanted. Again I wait for a response. Nothing. My breast pump talks to me, but it usually either says, "You're a whore, you're a whore" or "Kill bogs, kill bogs" depending on how high I have it turned up. I wish I could teach it more phrases.

Jeffrey's no help. He's hardly home, but when he is, I'm second to Mady and Mady is second to "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare". What a D-bag.

A friend of mine suggested I try to "get out more" with Mady to keep from going insane. Get out more? How? It takes an hour to walk outside to get the mail and I don't even need to shower to do that. Then she suggested we take the baby out for "drinks". What a D-bag.

I've always been a very social person, always hated just sitting at home. I think I need a part-time job. Or maybe we should start going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. That's a baby-friendly social scene, right? Ha.

Question of the day: Is it ever appropriate to go out with your 3 month old for drinks? I think not.