First Christmas *Warning* Includes Pictures of a Half Severed Fingertip

Let's start with Christmas Eve. As you surely know, A Christmas Story always starts at eight on Christmas Eve, and then runs for twenty-four hours. I usually watch the very first one, but Jeffrey had to work and we didn't know if he would be back in time so that we could watch it as a family. This is my favorite Christmas movie, so I'm sure you understand how important this was. He called at seven to say that he probably wouldn't be done until nine. I was a little disappointed. Then, at 7:15, he called back to say that he cut his finger off and needed to go to the emergency room. CUT YOUR FINGER OFF?? I ran to my car, flew to OG, I was so worried. I had all these visions of Jeffrey covered in blood, pale because of the blood loss, and having to be carried out the door wrapped in a white sheet or something. When I got there, Jeffrey walked out with a little band-aid on his finger. What a shit. I drove Jeffrey to the ER so that the physicians assistant could put three stitches in his finger. He got a fancy pants finger cage and acted like a total baby the whole time. Apparently the cut did damage to his nail bed, so now he'll have a gimpy looking finger forever. Ew.

Back home, the plan was to let Mads open one present. That had always been the tradition in both of our families, and we wanted to continue it with our own baby. But then we couldn't decide which present, one from us or one from the G-parents. This kind of decision had the potential to turn ugly, so our first tradition was squashed before it began when Mads opened two presents on Christmas Eve. The first one was the walker from us. After the stupid toy was finally put together, I stood babe up behind it. The stroller moved forward a little, and then she followed it... the whole way across the living room. I expected that it would take her a couple days to get the hang of it, but she suprised me by walking all over the place with that thing. I put the babe to bed and we finally watched A Christmas story, me with a glass of wine, Jeffrey with enough Motrin in his system to numb his entire arm (eye roll right here).

Christmas morning, there were still many presents to be chewed on, so we let Mads at the tree and told her to have at it. She chewed on a lot of wrapping paper, and maybe even swallowed a couple pieces, then ignored all her new toys so she could roll around in the boxes. Jeffrey was annoying me about his car, we had left it at OG the night before because of the finger emergency, and for some reason, he needed it RIGHT NOW. I put him off until I could take a shower, but the second I had clothes on, he was back on my ass about his stupid car. I finally yelled at him and told him he was ruining my Christmas, which may have been just a little over-dramatic, but he finally shut up. For a minute. He was still salty when I took him to get the Honda, but we made up on the way there, and decided that we would make this a grump-free Christmas.

When we arrived at my parent's house, I took the first step to a grump-free holiday by pouring myself a very large glass of wine. Maybe just a little buzzed, I decided I was going to sled down the ginormous hill that my parents live on. I asked for more participants, got two, and then about ten spectators. Jeffrey's Daddy went first, he had a good start, but when he got towards the trees, things started to get a little hairy. He rolled off and slid about ten feet. Slight harm to one knee. I was next. I was using this little black sled, whereas the Pappies were using a Lightening Flyer, which has a steer bar. Mine of course did not, so when I saw that I was heading straight for a tree, I had to roll off before my ride was even done. There was a nice crack in the ice where Daddy had driven through the yard a couple days ago, and my ass smashed nicely into one of the tire tracks and stopped me. My Daddy went next, almost biffed it into a lawn mower, and walked away with a nice sized gash on his arm. I decided to try one more run, I just wasn't satisfied with my half-assed first try, and Jeffrey got this one on tape. The angle of the video doesn't do the actual ride justice. It was very fast, and I slid at least forty feet after I rolled off the sled. Totally awesome. Jeffrey didn't get a try, he just didn't want to chance it with his crippled finger (insert yet another eye roll here).

After presents were opened, more wrapping paper consumed, it was time for dinner. Babe had been happy go lucky this entire time, but the second I filled my plate, she turned the screams on and wouldn't stop until I took her out of the room. With Mads finally quiet, I went back to the dinner table to find everyone almost done and my food cold. Why would Christmas be different than any other day? My little big girl had noodles, mashed potatoes, cranberry, turkey, and even a piece of a pickled beet (I didn't feed her that thing. Ew).

At some point during the day, Jeffrey realized that he lost his finger cage (the horror!), so after we got home from my parent's, he had to go look for it. He found it in the OG parking lot, and was incredibly excited.

Mady received way too many toys, and I've spent the day today trying to figure out where to hide them all so I don't have to look at primary colors twenty-four hours a day. I've decided to give her one new toy each week to play with, so that she doesn't get overwhelmed, and I don't have to listen to all of them squawking at the same time. My next step is to get all of this Christmas crap out of my living room. Call me the Grinch, but I'm ready to have my house back to normal, minus the mooning santas and silver bells. Here's a fraction of Mads' Christmas loot. There are also a couple more dolls, more books, and enough soft blocks to build a life-size mack truk, among other various crap and clothes.

All in all, it was an awesome first Christmas. Even with cut fingers, bruised butts and kneecaps, slight hangovers, and only one full showing of A Christmas Story, it was time spent with people that absolutely adore my baby, and there isn't anything else that I could possibly ask for.