I had been thinking about New Years resolutions for a couple weeks before the big day. I have never made a resolution before, but there are things in my life that I'd like to change, so I figured this year would be the best time to start. Sadly, it's only the ninth, and I've already failed at a few of them. I figure maybe if I blog them, it will give me the motivation to actually do them. But I doubt it...
1. I will not let myself go. Yes, I know I'm only 23, and this should be a non-issue until I'm at least 43, but I see myself falling down a crappy path already. Pre-baby, spending the whole day walking around in PJs and yesterday's make-up would only be acceptable if I had some kind of life-threatening illness. Post-baby, it's my daily routine. No more. I'm too cute to be frumpy. I promise to shower every day, put on real clothing, and never enter the living room without two coats of mascara. Starting tomorrow.
2. I will not participate in Mommy wars. I am not a better Mommy than you just because I breastfeed. You are not a better Mommy than me just because your child is strapped into a 500 dollar stroller. I will raise my child the way I believe is right, and I will avoid being judgemental when someone chooses to do things differently.
3. I will stop writing/thinking/saying negative things about Jeffrey. That guy annoys the hell out of me at least five times a day, but I absolutely adore him. His good qualities outweigh his gaming addiction, and he is an amazing father to the person I love most in the world. I could not ask for a better partner, and I promise to remind myself of this the next time he pisses me off.
4. I will be the best Mommy that I can be, but I will not kick myself when I fall short of perfection. Let's face it, I'm not going to be the best Mommy in world. There's no such thing, and even if there were, it's not possible. But, I was a better Mommy today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I'm going to be a better Mommy than I was today. And so on, and so on, forever.
5. And lastly, I will become closer to God. I will think of Him before I attempt something stupid, and I will apologize when I do it anyways. I will not ignore Him until I need help, and then forget Him when something good happens, or curse Him when something bad happens. I'm a crappy Christian, I have been for years, but this year I'm going to step it up to mediocre Christian.
So that's it. If you see me at Walmart, wearing pajama pants and berating Jeffrey, screaming "God-damn-mother-bitch" and giving the mother of that dirty little kid the evil eye, kindly remind me of these resolutions. I might forget.