Monday, February 9, 2009

Mommy-Baby Picture Disaster

There are about three pictures of Madelynn and I together. Three in nine months. Okay, maybe it's more than three, but definitely no more than five and a half. Why is that?

1. There's no one here to take the pictures for us.
2. Madelynn won't sit still for longer than six seconds.
3. I never like how I look in pictures.
4. I hate taking pictures of myself. It just feels... weird.

On Friday, since I was already presentable from running errands, I decided to stop making lists of reasons to NOT take pictures, and just take the freaking pictures already.

Let's start with the outtakes.

Now, when I saw this picture, my first thought was, "Wow, this kid has some large top teeth." Not a very nice thing for a Mommy to think, but I'm honest here. Then I saw this:

Good Lord. Why the hell didn't anyone tell me that my teeth were two sizes bigger than humongous?? Like seriously, I had no idea how tall my teeth were until I saw this. Holy teeth.

I won't mind if Mads has some tall ass teeth like her Mommy (tall teeth rock), I just hope she doesn't inherit my six-head.

I have about fifty-seven off-center pictures just like this. I can't figure out how to hold the camera in front of me. I move it one way, I get just the corner of Mady's head. I turn it slightly to the right and get the freaking wall. I don't get it. In an attempt to make it easier on myself, I decided to try mirror pictures. Those should be easy, right?

Hmm. Or not. Although it is a pretty good photo of the TRUblend. (Speaking of make-up, my Rite-Aid has all CoverGirl cosmetics for buy one get one. I don't know if that's all Rite-Aids, but if you use CG, it's definitely worth a look. I have enough make-up stocked up to last me a couple years now.)

Also, about forty-three pictures of random body parts. A hand here, a baby elbow there, hey there's my shoulder right next to Madelynn's knee arm?! Good one! I call them 'action' shots. Add to those the hundred and sixty-seven pictures of Mads looking everywhere but at the camera, and I'll have the worst photo album in history.

Notice how in all the pictures, I'm cheesing just a little too hard. Okay, way hard. I need to tone down that fake smile a couple notches.

And finally, we end the outtakes with some hair pulling. Story of my life.

Out of three hundred and twenty-eight pictures, there has to be a couple good ones. You would think so.

Mads and I both have weird hair, but when you factor in that we're both looking at the camera, these are the best of the lot. I put the camera down exhausted and a little disappointed. But hey, that's my life up there. It's really not so bad.

I so hate my hair though.

I figure I'll try again in another nine months.

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