Thursday, June 11, 2009

Free Fiance

**I have one, 25 year old fiance, free to a good home (or any home). Hardly used, in good/fair condition. It's just taking up space at this point. I'm willing to deliver out of state if needed. Thank you.**

I feel no guilt.

Here's what happened. There is absolutely NO food in this apartment. I made Babe the last of the pancakes for breakfast, along with the last five cherries. I used the last two pieces of bread for her lunch, along with the last piece of cheese. I'm telling you, we have zero food (unless you consider ranch dressing and stove-top stuffing food). Jeffrey has off today, so I told him to run out and buy a few items just to get us through the next couple days. I really didn't feel like spending an hour grocery shopping today, so I assumed that I could trust Jeffrey to buy a few necessities to last us until I went shopping on Saturday. You know what they say about people who assume, don't you?

Bologna, popsicles, rolls and a dozen eggs. Plus two packs of light bulbs.

That's what he walked in the door with. ???? It took him an hour to make his purchases. ???? First of all, neither Madelynn nor I eat processed pig snout. Second of all, we have sugar and water at the house, along with a freezer. We could have made our own damn popsicles. We wouldn't do that though. Why? Because popsicles aren't food!!

Mads and I shared a light bulb for dinner.

Free fiance.

3 comments:

Megan said...

hahaha.. holy shit, you're making that up. He didn't. Seriously? Tell me he didn't.

Aimee said...

He also bought the economy-sized box of frozen waffles. He's eaten 10 of them already.

Bohemia Momma said...

Men are dumb. Younger men, even more so. I would have pointed at the door and told him to go back and get REAL FOOD or he has to sleep outside.