Friday, August 8, 2008

The Baby Whisperer

Mady loves to talk to Jeffrey. I'll spend 20 hours alone with the girl and hear nothing, not a peep. Daddy walks in the door and she becomes a screetching, yelping, beautiful mess. I can't understand a damn thing she says. Jeff can. And she understands him. It's like that woman on T.V. that can talk to animals, the animals always bitching about how bad their owner is. They share secrets about me. They're assholes.

Mady: Mommy scratched me today.

Jeff: She yelled at me today.

Mady: Oh yeah? Well she made the playmat babysit ME today.

Jeff: That's nothing compared to the lack of sex I'M getting.

Actually, I have no idea what they talk about. I don't speak bullshitish, but I'm sure it's something along those lines. Damn kids.

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