Words from a Two Year Old, Part One

Silly words and even sillier phrases have been falling out of Madelynn's mouth like half-chewed fishy crackers lately. These are some of my favorites.

I have reached the point in pregnancy where tying my shoes leaves me feeling like I've just participated in a triathlon. While struggling and grunting myself into a pair of chucks, Madelynn said, "Mommy suck." I immediately replied with, "Nuh-uh! You suck!" After mentally kicking my own ass for telling my toddler that she sucks, I realized that Mads was saying that mommy was stuck. She was right, I was stuck and I had to just tuck the laces in. Ever since that proud parenting moment, I've noticed that Madelynn gets suck a lot. Her feet get suck in chair legs, her hair gets suck in hair "qwips" and her toy box gets suck on the door frame. "Suck! Suuuuuck, Mommy!!" You're stuck, gotcha.

Madelynn really likes coffee. Since I've been pregnant, I've switched to decaf, so I'm happy to scoop a couple spoonfuls of coffee into her little plastic play mug. It's "Mmm, good coffee." Jeffrey and I had put Mads to bed one night, and less than ten minutes later she was back in the living room saying, "coffee? Coffee?" Silly girl, we don't drink coffee at night! Get back to bed. "Coffee? In there? In bed? Coffee?" No, you cannot have coffee in bed, go to sleep. Madelynn disapeared into the bedroom, only to return less than 30 seconds later. "Coffee!! In bed!!" I scooped the silly girl up to take her back to bed where I found a HUGE, brown, wet spot. Apparently I had left my coffee cup on the night stand and while Madelynn was chugging it in the dark, she spilled it. It's all so clear now. There's coffee in bed. Duh.

Spilled sippies, dropped toys and scattered yogurt raisins happen. They just do, there's no avoiding it. What should you say when you tip your water cup on the coffee table? "Aw-man. Oops, aw-man. Clean-up! Aw-man."

Madelynn and I fold a ton of laundry. I swear this little family of three goes through more clothes in one day than the Duggars. Mads is always right there to point out the colors of all the clothes and to let me know which one is a shirt, pants, jeans etc. After finishing up one day, I pointed to a pile for Mads to carry into the bedroom. It was a stack of Jeffrey's boxers. While patting the stack, Madelynn said, "Daddy panties. Panties. Daddy. Panties?" Yeah kid, those are Daddy's panties.

Madelynn is a coloring fiend, we could color for hours while singing "Apples and Bananas" over and over again. Babe's favorite colors are "yeddow, gay, purpoh and geene."

Madelynn rushed up to Daddy one day with her pointer finger up yelling, "Boo-goos! Boo-goos Daddy. Boo-goos." She then wiped the boo-goo on Daddy's pant leg. Hmm, I wonder what made her think that boo-goos belong on Daddy's pants... Men are gross.

Mads is a tender soul. She gets distressed when she hears a baby crying, or when she hears Mommy grunt her way off the couch. "Baby cwying. Baby ok? OK?" or "Hurts? Mommy hurts? Boo-boo? Hurts Mommy?" No matter how hard you try to convince her that the baby is OK, or that Mommy doesn't hurt, she'll pat your leg for at least a full minute to make sure you're truly OK.

What's that spot on your shirt, Mads? "Guckies." You mean yuckies? "No. Guckies. Gwohs. Guck."

Mads doesn't like to leave the house unless all family members are involved. It's always, "Daddy come too? Kitty come too?" No, kitty does NOT come too. Ever.

Since I became a whale, I've been using Madelynn as my little gopher. It's just easier to stay sitting on the floor while I send Mads to get the book she wants to read or the toy she wants to play with. Hey, she's young with tons of energy and I'm fat with tons of heartburn. It's only fair. When Mads brings me whatever I've sent her for, she says, "Here. Take it. Take it!" Holy crap, I'm taking it. Madelynn also uses "here" to let you know that she would like whatever you're holding. Picked up some chapstick? "Here!" as she rips it from your hand. Or, "Here!" as she steals your cup of "go-gurt." Who taught her to be so demanding?

I've been working with Mads on please, thank you and you're welcome since before she could even hold her head up. She has been able to say all three for quite some time, but it has only been recently that she remembers to say them at appropriate times, without a ton of Mommy-prompting. Problem is, every time she says "thank you," I quickly answer with "you're welcome." Hearing them together all the time has confused Mads a little, and now when someone gives her a sticker or a lollipop (please stop doing that, BTW), Mads will say, "Thank-oo. Welcome." or even reverse it to "Welcome! Thank-oo." The sticker and lollipop givers think this is just the cutest thing ever, so I haven't been working too hard to fix it for her. If "Thank-oo. Welcome." means an extra sticker, she might want to hang on to the phrase for a while. I might even try it out and see where it gets me.

Madelynn's vocabulary is expanding literally by the minute, so I'm sure I'll be back with parts two and three soon. I swear she lays down for nap and learns a new word or two while she's sleeping. She knows all of her colors, can count to ten and almost has the entire uppercase alphabet down (give her a break, "K" and "X" really do look too similar). She pointed at the children's menu at Bonfatto's last night and said, "cheese." Summer and I both almost had a heart attack when we saw the word "cheese" under her pointing finger, but I quickly decided it was just a coincidence. Of course there's cheese something on the children's menu, anyone could figure that out...