Shoes

I love heels. However, these shoes that I'm about to show you (that I lovingly call my 'hooker heels') are just dangerous. They're actually fairly comfortable, as long as the distance between car and bar doesn't exceed 32 feet. I like to think that if I were ever faced with danger, I could use them as a weapon. A five inch stiletto to the throat could thwart any attacker, no matter how big or strong (on the off chance that I could get my leg that high). Truth is, I don't wear them often. They give me an extra six inches or so, and I'm afraid I'll get a nosebleed at such a high altitude (or fall down the stairs).

They are useful, however.

For comic relief.