If You Were Me

This is what ten minutes of your day would look like. You begin by taking pictures with Mads in the living room, while Evelynn sleeps in the nursery. Obviously you can't take a picture with one girl and not the other, I mean, that just wouldn't be fair. The girls will see your blog one day, and they'll be counting. You leave Mads with a sheet of stickers (which in itself is a horrible idea, what the hell are you thinking?) and go to take pictures with Ev (never mind that she's sleeping, it's easier that way anyways).

As you can tell from the background, Mads is never too far behind you. Even though you remind her 5,000+ times a day that she must be quiet when the baby is sleeping, she screams, "What you dooooin' Mommy??" This of course startles Evelynn and wakes her up.

Since Ev is already awake, Mads decides to take this opportunity to poke her in the cheek. She knows this practice will produce screams every.single.time, yet she continues to poke that cheek.

This doesn't go over well with Ev. She has just been startled from a deep slumber to find an evil toddler poking her and an evil mommy waving a massive Nikon in her face. I would be pissed too. (Shame on you, mommy.)

Your toddler really is a little beast, just look at her face. It's pretty obvious that Ev won't be going back to sleep after this intrusion, so you might as well change the hundredth diaper of the day, since you're already in here and all.

"Stop moving, baby!!" Why does she always have to yell? Does she get that from you?

A clean butt puts Ev in a better mood. I wouldn't exactly call her happy, but at least she's not screaming anymore. You hear the dog downstairs barking for the first time today. The dog never stops, but neither do your kids so usually you can't hear him. Stupid dog, but silence from your baby.

Until Mads pokes her in the cheek again.

Make it stop.

You tell Madelynn that she needs to apologize and give the baby a hug. "No." Do it. "No, no, no." Do it. "I so sorry baby, don't cry anymore." Unfortunately for all of you, Ev is screaming so loudly that she can't even hear this apology. You suggest to Mads that perhaps it would be better to show Evelynn that she's sorry, since everyone is pretty much deaf at this point and she owes her one hug anyways. "I don't want to." Do it anyways. "No." We have to apologize when we hurt someone. "No." Please? "No." It's the right thing to do, Madelynn! "NO!!" Do it or you'll sit in the chair!! 1...2...

The kisses and hugs seem to do the trick, but Madelynn isn't convinced that this is the end. She gives Evelynn a good talking to. "Shush, baby! No more crying, baby! SHUUUUSH!" She's screaming at her. She probably gets that from you... ahem. You feel the guilt and mentally remind yourself "hugs, not drugs."

Evelynn cracks a small smile. Madelynn has made Ev happy, and this makes mommy happy, which means mommy doesn't have to "roar" anymore (something you're accused of doing every time your voice goes higher than a whisper. "Mommy ROARRRSS!!").

Yay! You clap. Mads claps. Evelynn grins.

Since Evelynn has been tear-free for thirty seconds, Mads tries her best to torment the sweet girl further by shoving a piece of her princess headband in her ear.

You just sit there with your camera thinking, "What a little snot that child is."

When this doesn't work, she tries something else.

Evelynn takes the crown bashing with nothing more than a look of confusion. Since no one is crying, you let the rough play go. You've already reached your "NO" and "STOP THAT" limit for the day and it's only noon. Mads knows when she's beat, so she leaves. Everything is rosy until you set Ev down on the living room floor.

Poke to the cheek. Rinse, lather, repeat.

And that's ten minutes of your, errr... my day. The other 1,130 are just as fun.

:)