3-in-1

Our crib, although never used for sleeping, has proved useful. It's a great place to throw folded laundry when you're too lazy to put it away. A few days ago, I decided to put the laundry in the drawers where it belongs and turn the crib into a toddler bed. Maybe if it's a bed, we can get a child to sleep in it (I don't really care which child at this point, I'm just sick of sleeping with two sweaty kids all up in my arm-pits).

Now, I'm not super handy, but I like to think I'm pretty good at following directions. These directions had pictures, so how hard could it be? The first step is to disassemble the crib. Well that's pretty easy, I remove 5,000 screws and random metal pieces that I don't have a name for. It took forever, but in my defense, they hid the screws pretty darn well. Finally, I've finished step one and the crib is in a million pieces (including the hardware). Step two, connect the frame to the headboard. Sounds like another easy step, but which one is the frame? None of the pieces look even remotely like the frame in the picture, and I spent the next half hour trying to figure out how to disassemble further to make a frame. It's just not possible. At this point, I'm hitting things, throwing pieces around and sweating. I had partially ripped my instructions in a moment of frustration. Holding the pieces together, I finally see this in extremely small print:

Bed frame sold separately.

What the fuck? Are you kidding? 3-in-1 my asshole! False advertising! Shenanigans! BULLSHIT!

So anyway, I'm pissed and there's no way I'm spending the whole day putting the stupid thing back together. Want to guess what the crib is now?

If you guessed "big pile of crap," ding ding ding, you're the winner!

If you're looking for a 2-in-1 crib, I might know where you can get one.