Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bad Mommy, Itchy Baby

This perfect little baby.

She has annoyed the hell out of me, left teeth marks on my nipple, and poked me in the eye in some of her screaming rages, but I've always managed to be cool, calm, and collected. Since she was born, I would always go the high school route and roll my eyes at her instead of potentially scaring her with my "stern voice". I haven't used that voice so far because I haven't perfected it yet, and I don't want to waste it on her when she's too young to understand. I want it to be really scary when I bust it out around those terrible two tantrums. Occasionally I give her an exasperated, "Oh, Madelynn!", but she either doesn't notice it through all her screaming, or she smiles at me. So beautiful, so irritating. I'm trying to use distraction now, because I could never bear to let her "cry it out", but sometimes you just can't distract her. I have to do something, else my head will explode. And there has to be something wrong with her, right? She wouldn't cry for no reason. Right?

Madelynn has been jumping all over my nerves for the past three days. Just fussy and grumpy all the live long day, but more so the two hours before bedtime. I'm still sick, and I swear she either knows it, and is trying to make me jump out a window, or the water in my fountain of patience has dried up to go fight whatever virus my body is housing. Well I had that last straw moment today. I set the screaming little mess down, stared right at her and screamed in my head, "Shut up shut up shut shup shup shupthefuckup SHUTTHEFUCKUP!!! FUCK!!!!" I think my lip quivered. She didn't stop, probably because she can't read my mind, but it really made me feel better. It calmed me down. I was able to stop and assess the whole situation, to look for the problem causing this madness.

Her onesie tag was poking her. I wonder if this has been the ongoing problem these months, those tags are the reason for "crappy hour" with Fussy Pants McGee. Could it really all be just a tag? Too easy?

I'm going tagless just in case.

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