Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Mushrooms Stuffed with Broken Dreams (Pre-bake)

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, just in case you didn't know.

Have I ever said that I hate Walmart? Once or twice, right? Well I would like to reiterate my previous statement by saying, Walmart sucks big time. I waited until today to get all the ingredients that make up the best stuffed mushrooms in the world. Why are they the best? Because I'm making them, that's why. The recipe said that I needed cayenne pepper. Which is a spice, right? So it would make sense for it to be in the spice aisle at Walmart. Or would it?

I stood in that aisle for over twenty minutes trying to decode the wack ass system that Walmart employs to keep things in order. Alphabetical would make sense. Black pepper, chili pepper, lemon pepper... Now wait, we obviously skipped one. Forget alphabetical order, let's go with brands. Each brand must have cayenne pepper. I'd also like to say that every person and their mother chose this same day to fill up their spice rack at home, and I was totally in their way. I didn't care. Where's the red colored pepper? Cayenne pepper! Five bucks? Fuck off. I could buy pre-made stuffed mushrooms for five fucking dollars. Crushed red peppers? That's gotta be the same thing, right? I figured I could throw it in the blender or something to make it powdery like that five dollar bullshit. I grabbed the cheapest one and went to hunt down that stupid ball of cheese that I promised.

Mommy! Mum was standing right next to the cheese balls, probably planning to buy one in case I forgot, which wouldn't be unlike me. After our hellos, (Cute pants, Thanks!, You just look so cute, Did you get new shoes?, They're super cute), I told her about my pepper problem. Do you know where it is?

It's with the pepper. The regular 'ole pepper. Ya know, the stuff that you put on eggs, comes in a shaker? Where's the regular pepper? Two feet past the spices.

I went back there to see for myself, and lo and behold, less than two feet past the spices is a whole plethora of pepper that I had never heard of or imagined that anyone would need. Would it have killed Walmart to integrate the cayenne version of pepper into the spice section as well?

So anyways, the first catastrophe has been avoided, but we're still in the pre-bake stage. I'll keep you updated.

Since we're discussing food, here's Mads covered in maple teething bisquit.
Disgusting, right? I don't know why pictures of babies covered in mystery puree makes me want to gag onetwothree times. Poop I can handle, but baby food? No so much.

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