Win!

I'm stuck on the meme boat! Jen, from Life According to Jennifer, tagged me. The rules for The Honest Scrap Award-The Honorees are:

A: List ten honest things about yourself -and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep.

B: Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

Alright, I'm not that interesting, but here goes:

1. When I was two years old, I cut my left thumb off. The whole way. I can't remember it, but Mum said I didn't even cry because I had chopped through all the nerves. They stuck a needle through the thumb and into the bone in my hand, sewed it back on, put on a bright pink cast, and prayed that it would grow normal. It's slightly smaller than my right thumb, and it doesn't bend the way it's supposed to, but on the bright side, I still have a left thumb.

2. My sister is eight years, two months, and six days older than me. When she moved out of our family's house, my Mum found a bunch of letters in the attic that she had written to God. She told God that she hated me and wished I had never been born. She kicked my ass daily. When I turned 18, we finally became friends, but we still fight over who is Mum's favorite (it's totally me).

3. A week after Jeffrey and I met, we went to Florida together. I barely knew him, he barely knew me, but we packed up our crap and left the state. It was supposed to be a month long vacation, but we ended up staying for five months. Jeffrey didn't want to leave, but I was ready to come home. One Saturday night, I told him I was going home, and early Sunday morning, I drove the 20 hours home all by myself. I figured if he followed me, then it was meant to be. One week later, I picked him up at the airport, and we've been living in Pennsylvania together ever since.

4. I'm a fake vegetarian. I don't eat hooved animals or seafood, but I love turkey and chicken.

5. I have a birth mark in an unmentionable area, but you can only see it when I'm properly groomed. ;)

6. I'm a closet smoker (not actually in the closet, only outside). I smoke 1-2 cigarettes a day, usually one during morning nap, and one after babe goes to bed. On Mondays, when I work all day, I may even smoke three. I'm super anal about keeping this secret from Mads, so I wear a specific coat when I smoke, brush my teeth, wash my hands, and use mouthwash before I go anywhere near her. I'm terrified that she'll find out when she's older.

7. I've had the same best friend since I was five years old. We go through phases where we'll spend every waking moment together for a few months, and then I won't see her or speak to her for a few months. Every time we see each other again, we just pick up where we left off.

8. When I was 18-20, I worked at a resort as a banquet captain. For the employee Christmas party, I was scheduled to work. Employee appreciation my ass! I served the dinner, cleared the plates, then downed about a whole bottle of chardonnay. I was so drunk that I fell off the loading dock, broke my nose, split my lip, and spent the rest of the night in the emergency room. All while on the clock. I didn't get fired, they were afraid I would sue them, and workman's comp payed for my stitches.

9. I'm allergic to tape. Yes, tape. If you put a piece of tape on my arm, the skin will turn bright red and swell up.

10. I'm obsessed with blogging. If I didn't have to be Mommy all day, I would be blogging all day. But I guess if I didn't have to be Mommy, I wouldn't have anything to write about.

I'm tagging:

Jillian, The Grand Adventures of Marley (and Mommy and Daddy)

Emily, And Baby Makes Three

Steph, Mommy and Wife. What a Wonderful Life!

The Beach Life

Megan, I Buy Cheap Toilet Paper.

Morgan, Adventures in Diapering

Jen, Plenty of Not Much