The View From the Shower

Of all the changes that occur when you become a new parent, learning how to shower with a baby around has been one of the hardest for me to cope with. In the beginning, showers were taken while Babe was asleep, usually broken into three or four segments where I would have to get out and soothe her, then get back in and suds a new body part. Later on, I realized the benefits of co-bathing, but I've never been a bath person, I just don't feel clean after sitting in pee water (her pee, not mine). Then co-showering, which was a lifesaver for about a month, until Mads started walking all around the tub, pulling down soap bottles and scratching my legs. So now I've had to change the showering protocol once again, and I tell you, it's a flippin' process.

First I have to baby proof the bathroom. This includes moving out the trash can, taking the toilet paper off the roll, and sweeping the floor in case there's a hidden bobby-pin or hair clip under the mat. Then come the toys, toys scattered all over the floor, toys hanging from the now empty toilet paper dispenser, and toys blocking the little pipe thing behind the toilet. Now I have to make the bathroom a fun place, I need to sit on the floor and spend 3-5 minutes showing Madelynn every toy, making each one uber-exciting so she's happy to play with them. Finally, I can get in the shower.

In the shower, the curtain can only be half way closed, heaven forbid Madelynn not be able to come to the tub and check on me. While washing my hair, I need to pick up the toy that Mads has just dropped in the tub, chuck it across the room, and scrub as fast as I can before she returns to drop in another toy. During conditioner, I have to coo at Madelynn to calm her temper tantrum, I had "accidentally" threw her favorite block into the sink. While rinsing, my job is to hold the curtain in place with one hand, attempt to keep the gallon of water off the floor after Babe yanks the curtain out to get a better view. When drying off, it's back to cooing, Mads is upset because her hair and clothes are wet, she was quite drenched when she found herself on the water side of the curtain, unable to find her way out. Finally the shower is done. My baby is soaked, the floor is covered in water, and there are a shit ton of wet toys scattered around.

But hey, I'm clean.