Tuesday, April 19, 2011


So we're all in the car and I'm behind the wheel. Jeffrey and I are chatting about whatever and I'm driving around a really sharp turn. I wasn't going very fast, however Axeman is full of twists and sharp turns, and sometimes those curves and bumps get a little crazy. Soon to be three year old Madelynn in the back seat:

"We're going down! Shit! Oh shit!"

Oh my God. What did she say? I almost swerved right off the road. Jeffrey's jaw is touching the floor mat and my head is snapping from Mads to Jeff, back to Mads, back to Jeff and finally back to the road. After the initial shock, I had to literally bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. Where did that come from? Jeffrey and I spent the rest of the car ride arguing over who was responsible for Madelynn's outburst, and desperately trying not to giggle the whole time.

I have to admit, "shit, oh shit" could have been me. I've always been a fan of colorful words and it's hard to not use them sometimes. Like when the coffee pot overflowed last week and steaming, brown water poured down the cabinets and onto my right foot, I may have let out a, "Shit! Oh shit!" or two. Or worse, if I'm being honest. But seriously, I cannot remember ever in my entire life saying, "We're going down! Shit!"

Every time I re-read this post, I laugh my ass off. I'll gladly accept the "Bad Mommy of the Year Award" as long as I can cherish this little toddler-blurt forever, because that's some funny shit. "We're going down!"

Here's some G-rated conversations with Mads that I've posted on Facebook (so the anti-FBers can enjoy some of her non-vulgar silliness, too).

Mads: Mommy, there's chocolate on my window.
Me: That's not chocolate, babe. That's bird poop.
Mads: Bird poop!? Ewww! Birds need to poop in the potty, get tic tacs.

*Singing/screaming, "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" in the car.*
Mads: I don't like this song.
Me: I don't like your face.
Mads: I don't like your face or your body and I don't like this song!!

Me: Daddy isn't working today.
Mads: Daddy not working? He need batteries.

Mads: The baby doesn't share so I knocked her down.
Me: That wasn't very nice.
Mads: I know, she really mean. She need to share.


Demetrius' mommy. said...

hahahaha..oh my god she is
oh boy i cuss like a sailor
soo i need to stop pretty soon
so my son doesnt copy me!

Jillian said...

These made me laugh out loud! She's hilarious!